Right Mothering

We imposed a strict limit on our Christmas gift-buying this year.  The only person for whom we have bought anything is our daughter.  For everyone else we have made cookies, lots of cookies (we feel great affinity with the lady profiled in this essay in the New York Times Magazine, and we bake a fraction of the number of dozens of cookies that she does!).

So, here is what we bought for our daughter:

Gold Dress-Up Shoes

I struggled with the decision to buy dress-up shoes with heels for my daughter.  When my daughter was only three years old and other girls talked about how make-up makes you pretty, I so successfully countered that she was too pretty for make-up, that she even refused make-up at the year-end school show, giving that very rationale (and subsequently we nuanced that stance to allow for stage make-up).  I do not allow nail polish, telling her that she should have better things to do and that it will make her beautiful long eyelashes fall out (something my mother once told me, but the truth of which I cannot establish).  Her fascination with high-heeled shoes initially stimulated a similar revulsion on my part.  But I myself wear heels, and she pleaded with me for them, and I couldn’t argue that was anything wrong with them for women, as I can for make-up or nail polish.  So, I have relented on her copying this one sign of feminine maturity.

Cuddly Kittens Jigsaw Puzzle 100pc

I tried to restrain myself this year in the buying of educational gifts.  I tried to make these gifts about my daughter’s desires and not mine.  But when she asked for a cat puzzle, I couldn’t resist.  I strongly prefer Ravensburger to Melissa and Doug – the former is of much higher quality.

I Spy School Days (Ages 5-9)

I have long avoided anything related to computers or video games.  I never bought toys with lights, especially by Vtech or Leapfrog, because I saw them as preparation for video game usage later on.  We were, of course, given a few such gifts; luckily, they never charmed my daughter, except for one toy computer (Vtech – Tote ‘N Go Laptop Plus, which now looking at the price, I realize was most likely re-gifted by like-minded parents!).  Although I would never have purchased this and was no fan of it, for both educational and aesthetic reasons, I understood why my daughter loved it – I spend most of my day on my laptop, and she just wanted to do like me.  I gave another inch recently – to computer games.  At a recent parent-teacher conference, the teacher mentioned that my daughter liked time on the computer.  I had no idea she knew the first thing about computers.  Then my pride kicked in, and I didn’t want my daughter to be the only one without basic computer skills.  So we borrowed a CD from school, and she loved it.  Now, I won’t purchase any computer game based on a particular character (we don’t buy any such merchandise, with the sole exception of Hello Kitty! and even that only in moderation); I hope that this CD will be suitable.

Stuffed Roxy Red Fox

My daughter loves stuffed animals, and this is all she asked “Santa” for when she saw him at the mall.

Alex Magic Picture Maker – Spiral Pattern Drawing Machine

I have bought this for many a birthday gift.  I  only hope it will be as fun as it looks.

Sleeping Beauty (Two-Disc Platinum Edition)

My thoughts on Disney here.

I have one more gift to buy for my daughter -  the Sleeping Beauty (Two-Disc Platinum Edition).  But, I buy Disney products most sparingly, and my daughter knows why.

First, she understands that there is a difference between classic Disney animation and new Disney animation.  For me, the The Little Mermaid marks the beginning of new, less gentle Disney.  It was the first to use live action reference, but the last to use the traditional hand-painted cell method of animation, so it stands at a turning point.  Unlike Wikipedia, which labels the Little Mermaid the start of a Disney Renaissance, I see it as the end of the beauty of Disney animation.

Second, she knows that individually the classic movies of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella are beautiful, but the grouping together of these “Disney Princesses” with the newer ones in order to sell stuff is “gross.”  So, Cinderella the movie is beautiful, but Cinderella on underpants is gross.

My list of approved Disney cartoons, in chronological order.  We certainly don’t have all of them, and I tend to favor the non-Princess titles, just to balance out what she sees outside the home:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Disney Special Platinum Edition)

Pinocchio (scheduled for release in March!)

Fantasia (Special 60th Anniversary Edition)

Dumbo (Big Top Edition)

Bambi (2-Disc Special Platinum Edition)

Cinderella (Two-Disc Special Edition)

Alice in Wonderland (Masterpiece Edition)

Peter Pan (2-Disc Platinum Edition)

Lady and the Tramp (50th Anniversary Edition)

Sleeping Beauty (Two-Disc Platinum Edition)

101 Dalmatians (Two-Disc Platinum Edition)

The Sword in the Stone (45th Anniversary Special Edition)

The Jungle Book (40th Anniversary Platinum Edition)

The Aristocats (Special Edition)

Robin Hood (Most Wanted Edition)

The Rescuers

The Fox and the Hound (25th Anniversary Edition)

We also distinguish between classic Mickey Mouse et alii cartoons and the cartoons such as one sees on the new Mickey Mouse Club.  As a family, we love the cartoons in the following collections:

Classic Cartoon Favorites, Vol. 1 – Starring Mickey

Classic Cartoon Favorites, Vol. 2 – Starring Donald

Classic Cartoon Favorites, Vol. 3 – Starring Goofy

Classic Cartoon Favorites, Vol. 4 – Starring Chip ‘n Dale

I think it is important to create an aesthetically-discerning mind, even, if not especially, when it concerns Disney.